Entry 1: Moving on.

i miss you. i don't even know why you're an asshole. but i just really do miss you. and i've been missing you for weeks now. it fucking sucks i know you're pretty much in love with someone else and i get it i get it we had our time but nothing came out of it. and that pisses me off cause i care more about you now then i ever did before... so i just feel like a complete idiot cause i could of made that time much more worth it so i wouldn't be sitting here complaining. i feel like jealousy might be a factor in this.. but i don't even know if that. cause i really do have strong feelings for you and care about you but i definitely got to get over this. its stupid to not be able to get over you.. like its holding me back. and ill think of something that remind me of you and i just get all sad. when its like wtf why do i even care? because its not like i lost you for good. yes you are still a really great friend to me. i think it really even is better that we are just friend. its just i feel like we get along so much better and are so much of a better of a pair than you and her. i just don't get why you are with her. and i think you could even to much better. haha funny..... i know nothing will most likely ever happen between us again and i don't want to get in the way of you and her because i know you are happy. so i just got to move on. but why is it so fucking hard? why am i so attached? its something i don't even understand. i don't know why i care. i don't know why i think about you so much. i don't even know whats so great about you. nothing. hah.. i just don't like change i guess. i was so used to always being with you and talking to you like 24/7 and so i guess i probably just feel kind of empty that i don't anymore. i think you left and empty spot inside of me that i just need to fill with something else. so in order to do so i really have to move on. its not like i need to rush into finding someone else, but i should really just live my life happy and not stress about you anymore. i really will definitely be much happier. i guess its hard yeah, but if i wanna be happy i have to move on. if i try to fix things and get rejected it will be even worse. so ill try. and ill try and try. and it'll all be ok.

Hi. Here's some stupid fucking questions.

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

1.Rabbit Heart-Florence and the Machine

2.Black and Blue- Miike Snow

3. National Anthem -Lana Del Rey

4. Infinity Guitars- Sleigh Bells

5. Last Night- The Strokes

6. P- Odd Future

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Ryan Gosling, sexiest man on earth

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"I'ts as good an alibi as any."

4) What do you think about most?

People and things i miss..

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"i Know the movie looks super cute. But even if it's sad or not ill probably cry anyways. and im addicted to the song already. Listened to it like three times this morning tehehe."

6) Do you sleep with ____ or without ______  on?

I sleep in clothes.. pjs.

7) What’s your strangest talent?

Im a fucking loser i have no strange talent.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are complicated; Boys don’t know what they want.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

No :(

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

all day erryday.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I dont like being on bridges. ha

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Nooo hahahahha...

13) What’s your religion?

ATHEIST!!!!!!!

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

going on a walk/run. or doing something fun. i dunno.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

bothhhh.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Fuck theres so many. ha ummm...so many. Florence and the machine, the strokes, passion pit, mgmt, black keys, white stripes, odd future, nirvana, more but im indecisive. 

17) What was the last lie you told?

Im going to sleepover at my best friends house.

18) Do you believe in karma?

possibly

19) What does your URL mean?

im reallllly awkward according to my friends.......... hahahah 

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: always stressed about something.

Strength: independent and creative.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Ryan Gosling and Dave Franco and Joseph Gordon Levitt

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nerrr.

23) How do you vent your anger?

Talking about it hahah

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

i dont think so.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

fuck video chat, just call me.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Generally yes, but at times no. 

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate: annoying people talking.

Love: gooood music :)

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i could have done this differently... or what if i did this... or said that...

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

aliens no. ghosts yes.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right Arm: red nail polish

Left arm: me iphone

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

french toast :)

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

idk?.. school...................lol...

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

WEST COAST BABY

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

j.biebs ;) ew jk i dont fucking know

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

love and happiness

36) Define Art.

creative expression

37) Do you believe in luck?

yesh

38) What’s the weather like right now?

nice and sunny :)

39) What time is it?

11:20 am.

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No D:

41) What was the last book you read?

i dont read........hunger games though.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

weirdly kinda yes.

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Han. Ugly.

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Breakfast Club <333 ......oh wait the smurfs movie hahahah..

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

never broken a bone

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

nope, but ive hatched them i think haha

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

yeah......someone....awk. lol and some songs :)

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

Straight.

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yes. fuck rumor spreading bitches.

50) Do you believe in magic?

YES. hp4life

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

kinda....... but eventually i learn to forget. people make mistakes

52) What is your astrological sign?

GEMINI

53) Do you save money or spend it?

Both, mostly spend it though

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

clothesss

55)  Love or lust?

LOVE

56) In a relationship?

ha.... thats funny. 

57) How many relationships have you had?

idk what counts.....

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

noo

59) Where were you yesterday?

one of my besties houses duh

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

nooo

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes

62) What’s your favorite animal?

elephant and panda and unicorn

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

just gotta be yourself and talk to them and see what happens

64) Where is your best friend?

at home. being a loser hahaha

65) Spit or swallow?

I AM NOT A FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

66) What is your heritage?

1/2 italian. half idk

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

squished on a twin bed with mia and andrew.. hah

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk but fuck yeah! SATAN 666 yezzzzzzz

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

not even understanding this hahaha

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yeahhh, i think im interesting

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog!!!!!!! whatever if my boss is an asshole than he would fire me but i would save the dogs life.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a. i would probably honestly tell everyone so they could help my have a fucking good time the last month

b. would fucking go crazy!! hahah FSU and have fun!!

c. yes i would be so scarred..

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

love..

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

idk there are multiple song that make me happy 

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1286

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

being great friends first. and being comfortable.

77) How can I win your heart?

be funny and sweet and give me cute clothes and food...

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yess.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

choosing to be friends with some of my friends. i love them <3

80) What size shoes do you wear?

8-8 1/2

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

something nice. uhhhh if i even have a tombstone..

82) What is your favorite word?

derp...................JK hahaha i dunner

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

sadness.. missing you.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

1. fuck 2.hahhahaha ( i laugh alot so) 3. yolo 4.idk 5.welp 6.im awkward 7.sorry

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

Bad Girls- M.I.A. Listening to it now.

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

teal. cream. 

87) What is your current desktop picture?

picture with some of my closest friends.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

not gonna answer that...........HAHAHHAAH

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

who do you love...

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

get outta my room....idk that would be hella weird hahahah

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

UMMM. fly. or read minds. or have flawless skin and hair hahah

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

a time that had a special meaning to me and how i coulda changed things.. i was happy. but not gonna explain that............hah

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

idk i probably wouldnt really wanna erase anything at all.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

RYAN GOSLING OR DAVE FRANCO. SOOOO FUCKING SEXY

95)You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

somewhere in asia. or europe. somewhere very cultural and interesting. 

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

ew

98) Ever been on a plane?

yuuup

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

lets all be happy and party and love eachother :)

100) What is this blog made for?

just to vent about my life pretty much. so if you dont like it then just dont read it